Transformers 2 In Retrospect

My opinion of Transformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen, structured in a way so as to not go on a never ending tangent.

The film, a term I use sparingly, is a spasm of PNAC propaganda. The obvious macho bias. We will not surrender. Mission accomplished. And so on. The only thing getting in the way of total war, an emissary of the Obama Administration. The President, apparently, tiptoed off with his tail between his legs to a secure location in the face of invasion. That's okay, we'll throw the Democrat out the airlock. With a parachute, of coarse.

Another bullet point in the PNAC manifesto: use whatever means necessary. In the process of saving the planet from certain doom (the explosion of our Sun as a means of harvesting energon, or oil, which ever you prefer), a university library is destroyed, along with the great pyramids, and a shit load of other Egyptian memorials. Who needs history books when you've got guns. And big ones.

And to count the racial stereotypes in this movie would be an impossible task. The Autobot twins, Mudflap and Skids, are the most obvious examples of Bay's blackface impression of inner city African-Americans. Grills and all. The Fallen, our worst nightmare and obvious Bin Laden Doppelganger, is a barbarian with a spear. And Optimus Prime is the American Gladiator who will fuck you up. Tapout endorsement deal still pending.

In God we trust. Christianity wrapped in robot morality. From lessons in monogamy, to the afterlife. Our mecha god's are truly great.

Apart from all that, there are massive plagiarisms and narcissism. Bad Boys II poster is just way too obvious Mr. Bay. Kubrick can do it, but you don't have permission.

Action sequences are a blur, and Bay makes too much use of the crane and dolly. If you have a tendency to seizure, this is not the film to see. The amount of CGI is to be expected.

This movie has nothing going for it. And I wonder why, of all the films I have seen in the last five years, this is the one people applaud for when the credits roll.

What a world, what a world.

Might As Well Follow Up

Have discovered Michael Jackson over the last week. Still, his recent portraits give me the creeps.

Thought I should watch the Memorial this afternoon for future nostalgia, where-were-you-when convos to come. I found myself listening to HEALTH and other Smells half way through.

The thing was hopeless, ad hoc. Overflowing with boring anecdotes from marble statues and opportunists, political and musical alike. From House Bills to future Brit Pop stars. And then there was the casket, which I have serious suspicions about.

John Mayer was a treat. His own Human Nature more a tribute to the music that any other performance, Hudson's included.

A money making scheme to be sure, even if that was not the intent. All those humans will run out and consume now. Whoever wins the rights to Michael's likeness will make millions.

No need for a spectacle. Michael Jackson died two decades ago.

Michael Jackson is Dead.

But I just don't get it.

Every relevant contribution Michael Jackson made to Pop music, indeed I acknowledge them all, was made somewhere between I Want You Back and the Moonwalk. Since then, and after the ruthless transfiguration, the King of Pop has been virtually irrelevant. To music.

The King of Pop, a title bestowed because of album sales not any particular ability, became a nonentity in the last two decades of his life. He amassed debt. He was unconditionally worshiped, and for no good reason other than some ambiguous cosmic significance. Michael Jackson imported the English model for aristocracy. And excelled at it.

He became a recluse. The deprived, androgynous thing that paraded around as Michael (the real King of Pop) was an unconvincing gimmick. Baby dangling, a weak bit of marketing. The King had no clothes, as it were.

The two hemispheres of Michael Jackson, the black and the white, became so distinguishable that it seems his good half (black, to be sure) died long ago. And Bad was a pretty terrible obituary.

I concede the fact that he is really gone now. But you'll still listen to his records, won't you. Thriller an essential disk for any collection I am told. I still don't own it.

I was not, am not, the biggest MJ fan apart from a lil ABC happy-fun-time now and then. I suppose that is obvious. But I do understand, as much as anybody can, who Michael Jackson was. At one time an otherworldly master of Pop music. At another, a hideous Mr. Hyde, tormented by celebrity and a violent past, with a dangerous intent.

I'll watch Rock With You and remember Michael Jackson for what he was, not who he was.

On Iran

To blog or not to blog, that has been the question. Thanks to a conversation I had with Owen Livermore last night over a couple cold ones (with orange slices), I've decided to return. He gets the credit.

As the title suggests, Iran at present deserves some evaluation. Not that the interwebs are starving for another layman's point of view - they aren't - but this is important stuff, people. As I think I am in the minority, this post may provide some valuable insights. So here is my account, for your consideration:

My immediate reaction, about a week ago today, to the Presidential election in Iran was sympathetic to the reformists - that is Mousavi's supporters, warriors for democracy, or some manifestation of it. (I wonder if green was a conscious decision. I suspect that Mousavi's colour was a principal point of attraction for many supporters. A nod to his campaign managers first and foremost.)However, with proper reflection the situation became less clear. Especially the charges of fraud.

There are obvious indicators of corruption, to be sure. Spooky pre-election coincidences: the torching of a Mousavi campaign office in Qum. The two hour tally, in a country without the benefit of exit polls. Anomalous election results: the fact that Mousavi didn't carry his own state. The fact that Iran is a rather young country, close to one-third under thirty, and therefore more likely to elect the reformist Mousavi. The serge of protests.

But the indictments are questionable. Iran is an Islamic Republic, and a rather conservative one at that. To the best of my knowledge, Ahmadinejad is liked, at the vary least by some portion of the population. The assumption that Iran (the collective) wants reform is not so clear. Do the protests represent a large majority? Even if protests in support of the President were manufactured, the fact that they exist raises an eyebrow to young Iranian Tweeters.

Further, a lost election does not mean that it was rigged. Crying foul is more the reaction of a sore loser than of a subjected majority. Opinion polls, though unreliable, did foresee a less clear-cut decision than either side suggests. And a poll taken by Terror Free Tomorrow, hardly Mahmoud fans, even projected his victory. Fraud is not a certainty.

Further still, one should question Mousavi's motives. Once Prime Minister, Mousavi was a prototypical nationalist and Soviet satellite, or so I'm told. His interpretation of election results (a clear majority in his favour) is unlikely. And his proclamation (true or not) that he is willing to be a martyr for the cause of reform should be disheartening to those paying any attention. It reeks of opportunism.

What I mean to say is that one shouldn't be so quick to shout corruption and tweet revolution. Invoking Edmund Burke is more appropriate - that is, prudence is proper, people. Impulsive revolutions are dangerous (see Burke's critique of the French Revolution).

Let it not be assumed by the reader that I am in cahoots with totalitarianism. Far from it. Authoritarian theocracy is last on my list of favorite regime types. Therefore I should acknowledge that Iran is ruled by the worst kind of government - one that subjects women, torments its citizens, and, worst of all, penalizes thought crime. It's (thermo) nuclear program is dangerous, and reform is necessary. But not like this.

I'll agree with Christopher Hitchens, as I often do, on something. While the seeds of revolution have been planted in Iran (they even have their own Che), this will not be the revolution. I hope.

Plus, this thing is way beyond the election now anyway.

Joint Session

Obama speech good, Republican speech bad. Same as it ever was.

After watching, albeit with peripheral vision, Obama's address to Congress tonight, I sat through, bound and ganged, the excruciating rant Republican Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana offered as a GOP response. It was both insensitive to the subject, and, quite obviously, preemptively written. With due credit to Congresswoman Brenda Boxer, Jindal was tone deaf, if not completely.

I wont get into the specifics, because any person with a tv and a brain knows what the score is. But something Chris Mathews said needs to be repeated. For hilarity sake.

In his immediate critique of Jindal's speech, or whatever it was, Mathews commented on the fact that it was a Governor, not Senator, or Congressman (or woman) that offered the GOP rebuttle. In making that observation, Mathews hilariously noted that the GOP had "out-sourced" their response. Funny how Jindal is East-Indian.

Let's play hardball.

Get Your Own Damn Fries!

I swore to myself that my next Obama post would be about the stimulus package, but shit, this is just way better.

If you don't already think that our 44th President is a smooth-talking motherfucker, than listen to the sound bites under the article. I garuntee your mind will change.

My thanks to Cover Harris for this one.

Oscar Worthy

...was it? Slumdog Millionaire I mean.

I've already posted my immediate reflections of the film, so I'll save a second tirade on the mediocrity of Danny Boyle's (apparently) Oscar-worthy gift to North America for another, less appropriate, time.

But, for the sake and sanity of the blogosphere, I share an observation: that for a movie about, and profiting from, the supersaturated slums of Mumbai, India, mostly white British men were awarded tonight.

Oh sweet irony.

Something has gone horribly wrong in the universe.

P.S. It's a crime Gus Van Sant wasn't awarded the Oscar for Best Direction.